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Rights
of a Muslim Wife
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah
has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to
support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the
husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their
chastity, their husband’s property, etc)…" (An-Nisa’ 4:34)
Mahr (Dowry)
In Islam the man presents
his wife with a dowry they have mutually agreed upon, at the time of
marriage. The amount varies according to his means and generosity, and
his wife has the right to spend, save or remit any part of it. Allah
(SWT) says in the Quran: "And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory
bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)
with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any
part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as
Allah has made it lawful). (An-Nisa’ 4:4)
Maintenance
Women have been entrusted by
Allah (SWT) with the task of providing a peaceful, comfortable home
environment for the breadwinner who works for their provisions outside
the home all day long. "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from
among yourselves, that you may find repose in them , and He has put
between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs
for a people who reflect." (Ar-Rum 30:21)
"…But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the
mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have
a burden laid on him greater than he can bear…" (Al-Baqarah
2:233) "’O Messenger of Allah (SAW), what right can a wife demand of
her husband?’ He replied, ‘that you should give her food when you
eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not strike her on the face,
and do not insult her or separate form her except in the house.’"
(Reported by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud)
"A woman came to the Prophet (SAW) complaining of her husband,
‘Messenger of Allah (SAW), Abu Sufyan is a niggardly man who does not
give me and my son enough; except what I take from him without his
knowledge.’ He replied, ‘Take what is enough for you and your son
according to what is ma’roof (well-known in your society).’"
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Good
Treatment, Condideration and Companionship
Allah (SWT) instructs men
that they must be compassionate and kind to their wives:
"…They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen or Sakah, (i.e. you
enjoy the pleasure of living with her as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir
At-Tabari], for you and your are the same for them…" (Al Baqarah
2:187) "It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and
(then) He has created form him his wife (Eve), in order that he might
enjoy the pleasure of living with her…" (Al-A’raf 7:189)
This meaning that a wife and
a husband are meant for mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual
protection of each other. "I command you to treat women kindly. Woman has been created from
a rib (the rib is crooked), and the most crooked part of the rib is the
upper region. If you try to make it straight you will break it, and if
you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women
kindly." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) also
said: "The best of you are those who are best to the women." (Sahih
At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Al-Jami Al-Saker)
The best husband is one who
provides her with true leadership without harshness, or laxness, and who
does not misuse his authority and strength. Even if the behavior of a
wife should become hard to live with (for she may not always be in
strong health and of cheery disposition), the man is asked to be patient
and kind to her. Allah (SWT) says:
"O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against
their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may
take away part of the Mahr (dowry, bridal-money given by the husband to
his wife at the time of marriage) you have given them, unless they
commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honorably. If
you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings
through it a great deal of good." (An-Nisa’ 4:19)
A wife has the right to her
husband’s attention, companionship and time. The husband should try to
please and make her happy, taking into consideration her needs, wishes,
likes and dislikes, and making time for relaxation and recreation
together. "Among the Muslims, the most perfect as regards his faith is the
one whose character is most excellent, and the best among you are those
who treat their wives well." (At-Tirmidhi) The Right to
Adequate Sexual Relations
Since the purpose of
marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment for
each other, like a garment that protects and cover, the sexual aspect of
marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle,
considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs.
The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make
efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him
whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to
the husband. In Islam, any sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for
the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to
honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not
speak of them to anyone. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
"Verily among the worst people before Allah on the Day of Judgment
is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he
spreads her secrets." (Sahih Muslim) Allah (SWT) says in the
Quran: "…And live with them honorably…" (An-Nisa’ 4:19)
The wife has right over her
husband. The husband should play with his wife.
"The Prophet (SAW) was told about one of his Sahaba (Companions)
that he fasts in the daytime and prays at night, the Prophet (SAW) told
him that his family has right over him, his body has right over him,
pray and sleep, fast and then break the fast." (Ibn Hibban)
The Prophet (SAW) also
declared that having sexual intercourse with one’s wife is like giving
charity. It is very important to play and sport with one’s wife before
having sex, as the Prophet (SAW) told Jabir,
"Why did you not
marry a virgin, with whom you could play and who would play with
you?" (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
The Right Not
To Be Beaten
Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
specifically said, "Do not beat the female servants of Allah." (Abu Dawud)
Allah (SWT) says in the
Quran: "…As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish
them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them
(lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not
against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most
Great." (An-Nisa’ 4:34)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "When one of you inflicts a beating, he should avoid striking the
face." The Right to
Be Just With All the Wives
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"When a man has two wives and does not treat them equally he will
come on the Day of Resurrection with a side hanging down."
(At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud) The wives have the right to
equal number of nights and equal amount of wealth.
The Right to
Learning Matters of the Deen
A husband’s duty is to
teach his wife the essential knowledge of Islam, in particular matters
pertaining to women. If he does not know himself, then he must buy her
books and tapes that would teach her or let her go to study circles
where she can acquire that knowledge. She can not leave the house
without his permission, but she can go to the Masjid (Mosque) without
his permission. He has no right to stop her from that. Allah’s
Messenger (SAW) said, "Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from visiting the
mosques of Allah, but they may go out (to the mosque) having not
perfumed themselves." (Ahmad and Abu Dawud)
"…Their houses are better for them." (Abu Dawud)
The Right to
Be Jealously Defended
This includes not letting
her leave the house without proper hijab, or not letting her freely
intermingle with men. The Prophet (SAW) has said that a ‘dayooth’ (a
man who is not jealous about his honor) will not enter Paradise. · Not letting one’s wife
go out of the house EVEN when it is safe to do so.
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